


Dear You

by xi_umin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 19:49:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6092083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xi_umin/pseuds/xi_umin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no reason for him to be like this, to be broken –yet his parents found it as a reason to leave him. His parents couldn’t take having such a broken child, so ungrateful they said, so disgusting, too broken for this family. He could never blame them for the things they said, but their words resonate in his mind every time he thought of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear You

“So how does it feel like being reminded everyday that you’re the same old loser you’ve been since middle school?” Sehun whispered against the goose-bumped ignited skin of the smaller boy’s cheek. Sehun could hear that tiny whimper coming off the smaller’s throat as he pushed him down against the grimy toilet tiles. Sehun dug his bony knees into the boy’s spine as a low chuckle erupted against his chest, “Feels like shit right?”

The smell of overly bleached tiles and urine were always a little overwhelming for the smaller boy but it somehow felt comforting, comforting that it’s a reminder of how he was nothing.

-

It was never always like that for Minseok, past memorabilia of his glory days stuck against the stark white wall of his bedroom. Photos that hung on dried blue tack were peeling off; the happy faces off the pictures were faded. They felt intrusive now, as if they were laughing at how he has become, as if the happiness he had before never existed. Yet he kept them there, to serve as a striking reminder, a reminder of how he became nothing.  
A sigh left his throat as Minseok planted himself beside his bed; he ridded himself off his school uniform as he adjusted to the aching pain fluttering against his body. His eyes shifted towards the full-length mirror that decorated his room, eyes falling towards the newly formed bruises painting alongside days-old ones against his pale skin. 

“It felt like shit, but its feels like nothing now Sehun,”  
Minseok wanted so much to tell Sehun that, to tell him that he was numb to what Sehun thought was hurting him. Minseok let another sigh leave his chest as he reached into his bag pack to feel for his cigarette pack. His fingers dug pass the foil covering the chemical-filled pack as he pulled a stick out and lit it. Smoke intruded his sight as he let the menthol play around lungs, he puffed as he saw the tobacco slowly reside towards the filter. Butting the filter into the ashtray he stashed under the bed, Minseok stood up and bounced after the pins and needles that crept up his leg from sitting for too long. Letting fresh air wash away the tobacco smelling room, Minseok slid open the windows and let the warmth of the late afternoon sky caress him. 

-

Sehun never apologized; he never felt the need to. The kid that he often beats up, and hurl abuses at? Was his name Minseok? – Yeah he definitely deserved it. He doesn’t even know the boy but yeah he definitely deserved it. He doesn’t even protect himself, doesn’t even stand up for himself – yeah he totally deserves all of it.  
Yet, with all that reassuring, Sehun felt uncertainty curling up in his tummy.

Sehun didn’t know why he was hurting him.

-

Minseok doesn’t know why he’s been the target of Sehun’s bullying, but he gave in to it. Minseok didn’t know why but there’s definitely an answer.  
After all, everything happens for a reason right?  
Maybe it was God’s way of telling him to give up, of telling him that his nothingness is finally going to consume him. 

Minseok’s fingers played along the blade that he retrieved from a box amongst the many other things in it  
-What was it? 4 days clean?  
He eyes the blade carefully, dried blood from the previous time evident on the blade. Minseok flutters his eyes close as he pressed the cool steel against the already scared skin of his thighs.

 

At least it was comforting.

-

The next time Sehun and Minseok cross paths, Sehun drags Minseok into the toilet by his collar and slams him into the wall; Sehun was pissed, he was having such a bad day, and he just needed to –he levels his fist to Minseok’s face, aiming to punch Minseok in his left eye.  
When the nothingness in Minseok’s eyes caught Sehun’s.  
Sehun’s eyebrows knitted in confusion as he pushed away from the wall, his sneakers squeaked against the tiled floor as he backed away from Minseok.  
-Sure, Minseok never protected himself from any of Sehun’s punches, but the look of such nothingness was a first time coming from Minseok. 

-

Memories played in his mind as he walked towards the photo-filled walls; slowly plucking them off the walls at he threw them into the box. Minseok took the last piece off and stared at it –younger Minseok smiled back him. Tan colored-sand lay on the ground as the backdrop of the beautiful blue sea hung behind the three figures. He threw the photo into the box as he thought of the remaining two figures that clung onto him.

They had always been an average family but after realizing that Minseok was not normal; they left him saying that there was no reason for him to be like this, to be so broken. So ungrateful they said, so disgusting, too broken for this family they reminded him as they left a thick envelope of money and documents in their small apartment and slammed the door shut.  
Though he could never blame them for what they decided on, their words continue to resonate in his mind. 

Minseok shook his head ridding himself from memories of his family as he reached for his cigarettes and probe a stick against his lips and lit it up. His fingers danced along his trusty lighter as he closes his eyes, fingers sliding along dents on his chrome-plated lighter.  
Minseok lets his mind waiver off to think of his life so far, he thinks about the people he has met; the classes he failed; the time wasted trying to find himself; and Sehun.  
Sehun wasn’t an enemy; he definitely wasn’t a friend.

Yet…  
Sehun was comforting.  
It’s weird, but Sehun was nothing but comforting for Minseok. That the bruises he left on Minseok made it seemed like he was the only person who cared enough to notice him. It was weird, it had felt painful at first but it only felt like comfort for him now.

Minseok flicks his cigarette out his window as he stood up to carefully place his lighter into the box. His almost-bare room looks back at him as he continues to clean up his room, putting everything into a neat corner. 

-

Sehun runs, every step he takes squeak against the clean hallway of his school as he rushes to the slightly rusted locker he calls his. -Fuck, late again.  
His keys clink against the steel surface as he struggles to open his locker. With much effort his locker creaks open and a shiny-chromed object catches his eye. He curiously turns to look behind him to check for a presence as he pursed his lips in confusion, he eyes the object through squinted eye as he reached for it. A note was stuck beneath it with a couple of neat wordings covering most part of it. Remembering that he was already late and that didn’t want an extra hour at detention, Sehun quickly slid the object and the note into his pocket and together with the textbook he came to retrieve for

**Author's Note:**

> repost of a prompt i filled for exopromptmeme on lj in 2014 :-)


End file.
